No, I'm Not Ashamed Of My Abortion. Here's My Story

MBG贡献者 由娜奥米·蒂特
MBG贡献者
纳奥米·蒂特是一位营养师,健康和健身教练在华盛顿州斯波坎练习。立即下载必威手机版APP她有一个学士学位从冈萨加大学的心理学。
No, I'm Not Ashamed Of My Abortion. Here's My Story

摄影者Stocksy

这个母亲节里,我想起,我可能是一个8岁孩子的母亲感到自豪的权利,但我选择了做人工流产来代替。

无可否认,我很害怕所有的“如果”怀孕立刻送给我的事实。意外怀孕弥补所有怀孕的一半在美国,一个在这三个被安全和合法堕胎结束。

决定做人工流产是困难的足够了。

像每一个谁选择终止怀孕的女人,我仔细地决定在我的生活中那点什么适合我。而在百货公司兼职工作,我几乎没有幸存的我的同居男友是在残疾援助,因为他有精神分裂症。即使我不得不说是一个美妙的母亲的能力,我并没有在当时知道它,也没心思找出来。

这不是我的决定,有无地自容的我堕胎。这是内疚和耻辱,我感到没有希望成为一个母亲,因为人人都说你应该希望如此。所以,我跟我所有的力量都试图镇压经验,假装它没有发生在我身上。我是不是thatkind of woman—the woman who selfishly chooses herself over her unborn child.

你希望一个女人怎么样to raise, care for, and love a child in a healthy way if she doesn’t even know how to do that for herself?

But I was that kind of woman. And I’ve grown even further into that kind of woman over the last eight years. I knew having a baby would drastically change my life forever. But I didn’t know that not having a baby was going to do the same. You see, around the time I would have given birth, I finally decided to take responsibility for my life…and it started with getting healthier.

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As an adult woman, my very first doctor visit was at a Planned Parenthood abortion clinic.

I grew up fat, and my weight escalated to 300 pounds by the time I had my abortion at 25 years old. Being judged by a doctor for my weight caused a lot of anxiety due to being the target of constant bullying and verbal abuse as a teenager and young adult. So, I avoided the doctor’s office—until I had no other choice.

Sitting in the waiting room at the clinic, I couldn’t tell you for sure what was the most difficult for me to face: the guilt of aborting an unwanted pregnancy, the physical pain that I knew would follow the procedure, or the embarrassment of filling out medical forms—not knowing anything about my health history.

相反,培育成长宝宝的需要的,我喂自己更加滋补的食物,并开始锻炼。

或许正是在面对这三个拍打塑造承担责任,我的生命,终于所需的底层一刻,我的组合。两周后母亲节在2009年,我终于下定决心去面对我的耻辱,并开始越来越健康的过程。立即下载必威手机版APP从那时起,我一直致力于在过去八年中,我的生活到这是从来没有出生的孩子。

相反,培育成长宝宝的需要的,我喂自己更加滋补的食物,并开始锻炼。I committed to being healthier than I was the day before, which led me to lose 150 pounds in 11 months. Instead of teaching my child how to spell Mississippi, I stopped being a high-school dropout and enrolled in community college and began taking the courses that would eventually lead to a degree, scholarships, and a government job. Instead of showing my kid how to be brave enough to stand up to a bully, I had to gradually develop that courage, confidence, and self-awareness for myself.

At 25 years old, I didn’t know how to take care of or love myself. How do you expect a woman to raise, care for, and love a child in a healthy way if she doesn’t even know how to do that for herself?

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所以,我会回去,并作出不同的选择,如果我有机会的?没有。

In the end, every right choice could turn out wrong, and every wrong choice could turn out right. Only the woman can decide what is best for her in that situation. One lesson abortion has taught me is that the choice is less about what happens and more about how we deal with it. My abortion gave me the opportunity to turn my life around and start taking better care of myself and my future. I celebrate Mother’s Day by honoring the gift my unborn child gave me: the wake-up call to change.

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